And the teaching begins

Before our demo!

Thursday I had my demo lesson. Before the lesson there was some confusion with the pages I was supposed to teach but I decided to plan a lesson for the more recent pages. Having heard that this may happen I should have not been caught off guard when I got to school only to find the pages I prepped for had already been taught. However, having heard this happens, I should have also been prepared for multiple pages. Yet I wasn’t and so in the 15 minutes I had before class, I whipped up the best lesson I could. I had never created an entire lesson in the short of time but I felt confident, I mean, I had made up fillers on the spot, why couldn’t I do that now?
From my outlook, I really don’t think the lesson went all that badly but I was humbled when the observer told me everything I could have done better. I was even more humbled when she scored me “satisfactory” and said that “maybe we can do another demo”. “No slack, really?” Those were the thoughts going through my head then and even a bit now but I am trying to look at this from a positive stand point. One fact is that I can only go up from here. And also, I really know He is trying to teach me a lesson. After observing some of the classes, I really couldn’t see how I could do worse. How horrible to think such a thing but I did.
Yes, it stinks to think I may have someone observe me again and yes it is not fun to get such reviews but I need to stay positive. If I let one lesson get me down, how am I ever going to show these people that my sustenance does not come from the praise of man? I share this with you first because it still stings to repeat it to everyone who asks (so you can just read it here) and so you can all hold me accountable. I want everything to show His love and if it’s through accepting criticism with a smile, then bring it on…..or maybe I shouldn’t say that since it’s been said “be careful what you wish for”. Whatever He has planned for me, I can only hope to accept it and reflect Him throughout.

Carolyn's a great roommate and took me to the roof to cheer me up before my second lesson. It was so pretty up there!

It worked!

Last night was not originally scheduled but because of my scores the first time, I had to teach again and I was getting nervous at the fact that I was being observed again, making dinner an unpleasant event (sorry Carolyn). When I arrived at school, my administrator, Robert, told me that he had talked with all of the heads of the department and with someone from ESI and they decided that because of my situation they would let me sign the contract….Now, I really did not think it was coming down to that, but either way that is a relief. However, my nerves jumped again when I asked about the folder for the night’s class. He seemed to have no clue I was even teaching! Luckily, the schedule had my name down and I had not prepared in vain! So anyway, I went to class, set up the board and watched the clock. Five minutes past the starting time and no students made me worry again. The class I was teaching was in it’s first night, so I was assuming there were no students (sign of relief yet of frustration for another lesson gone to waste). As I started out the door I was met by a woman who I thought was a student. I told her my situation so she ran to check it out. Lo and behold the room number TYPED on my form was wrong. Instead of classroom 105, I was supposed to be in 205. Oh my goodness, could I have felt anymore frazzled. Either way, I entered into a room of 8 teenagers (I mean like 19 year old teenagers) and my heart started racing even more (the older students intimidate me!). As a result the beginning of my lesson was a little rough, even though I was just introducing myself, but by the end I was a proud teacher. In the two hours that passed, my excitement to teach these students escalated, proving to me that I cannot get down about rough beginnings, things get better as you move forward.